In a follow-up to a previous post, about “unnecessary” government workers and services, one of the points I made in the comments was how much of the perception about the services provided depends on whether or not you’re impacted by them – or their absence. Most conservatives – whether it’s a conservative state or just individuals – don’t think in terms of government cutbacks as affecting them, it’s always affecting someone else. So I thought I’d channel my inner SOB and write some Republican letters for the future.
Dear (fill in hurricane-prone state): We’re sorry to hear that the latest hurricane caused so much destruction. The news coverage of the storm’s devastation was astonishing. We regret to inform you that there will be no federal aid, since in our efforts to balance the budget and reduce the deficit, these unnecessary programs were done away with . You get these storms every few years, so you should have learned to deal with them by now and not keep coming back to the taxpayers of this country for a bailout. I’m sorry to hear that no insurance company has covered any of your homeowners, but that is the insurance company’s decision. You very clearly stated by electing us that you didn’t want government interference in private business, and we took you at your word. We look forward to further coverage of your citizens’ rebuilding efforts.
Dear constituent: I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your family due to food poisoning. No, it is not the government’s job to inspect the food processors to insure that it’s safe. We had to make decisions on cutting the deficit, and this was an obvious choice. It is your personal responsibility, not the government’s, to make sure your food is safe to eat. Maybe next time, you’ll learn the value of proper food preparation and storage.
Dear Midwestern State: Yes, we know you’re having massive spring floods. We saw it on the news. Why are you bothering us about it? You people get floods every other year, because you insist on living in a flood-prone area. Stop asking the taxpayers of this nation to help you out, and for crying out loud, will you tell your farmers to stop bugging us about their crop losses? You people have been talking about being self-sufficient and not wanting government, so we’re giving it to you.
Dear Gulf Coast: There’s another oil spill? So? We have an obligation to produce more oil for this country’s use, government regulations were getting in the way, so we removed them. You’re getting the economic boost of jobs from the industry, so stop complaining about a few beaches and not being able to fish anymore. Besides, we don’t have the money or obligation to clean it up, and we’re not going to ask the oil company to do it.
Dear State: We made it very clear when we did away with education funding that education was a local resp0nsibility. In fact, you yourself made that very point to us. Just because you don’t want close schools and colleges is no reason for the federal government to help fund them.
Dear Senior Citizen: Yes, we know that your healthcare benefits aren’t what they used to be, and your Social Security has been cut. We did that because we needed to balance the budget and reduce the deficit. Your assumption that you were owed that is just another example of the entitlement mentality that we’ve been trying so hard to overcome. May we suggest that you get a job and stop sponging off the taxpayers?